


4 times Zach failed to woo Zorian (and one time he didn’t)

by Cal14



Series: Mother Of Learning - Short Stories [1]
Category: Mother of Learning - nobody103
Genre: (it doesn't really work but don't tell him that), 4+1, 5+1, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Zach is an Idiot, Zach tries to be manipulative, Zorian is VERY confused, Zorian is confused, bi zach, bi zorian, but I couldn't think of one so actually, does that exist, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cal14/pseuds/Cal14
Summary: Zach is starting to use the time loop to mess around with boys when he becomes intrigued with a certain solitary, grumpy, and irritable classmate of his. These are his attemps to woo him.
Relationships: Zach Noveda/Zorian Kazinski
Series: Mother Of Learning - Short Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579648
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	1. 1

It didn’t start as anything serious, at first. Zach had been trying to explore his surroundings for a few years now, and it was only natural he’d eventually try to experiment doing things with other boys he might have not done if not for the time loop.

Zorian wasn’t the first. 

The first time he tried anything, it was with Naim. Zach had greatly improved his combat magic by that time, and had taken an interest in martial arts. Knowing the other boy was enthusiastic about the subject, it was only natural he’d ask him for help in that regard. Everything was good and friendly.

Except when things got out of hand and they ended up making out on a mat during a spar. 

Anyway, the point is, Zach was quite open to trying out new things with his male classmates by the time he decided to approach Zorian. At first, he thought his classmate would be rude and antisocial, as he’d always been, and he wasn’t too far from the truth. 

It was only when he dedicated more time to Zorian that he realized how kind the other boy actually was. He always helped a little girl with her bicycle in every restart, without fail, and he was never really mean to people around him.

He put up with people who annoyed him, he helped others, he was tolerant (to a certain point). They were little things, but Zach noticed them all, one by one. Zorian liked to spend his time either studying, or in the library, or studying in the library. He never got into a lot of trouble. He helped his older brother (whom Zach thought was a bit of an asshole) with his friend and anti-rash potion (or not potion) problem. 

In short, he was a good guy, and Zach had kind of taken a liking to him. A guy that tried to pass off as cool and indifferent but who actually cared and was attentive to other people? Yeah, Zach liked him. It was only natural he’d be interested in trying out things with him. 

The first time he tried to court Zorian, it wasn’t really anything special.

“You know, there’s a really nice restaurant not too far from here. Maybe we could go there and get dinner together one day?” he’d told him. In this particular restart, Zach had sought the other boy pretty early on, crashing into him in the library on the second day of the restart. 

Zorian was always just a bit more friendly if they started their interactions this way. He’d have an unexpected respect for the other boy just because he’d found him in the library instead of goofing around somewhere else (and also because Zach always made sure to mention how he’d been looking for books on complicated spells and it usually impressed Zorian, although the other boy seemed almost jealous at times of his superior abilities). 

After their meeting, Zach had made a point of talking to him at least once a day, and sitting next to him in most classes. Although Zorian was naturally suspicious of his strange behaviour, he seemed to think Zach had become more interested in academic knowledge over the break and wasn’t as opposed to him as he was whenever Zach tried talking to him normally. This had taken Zach more than a few months and bad experiences to achieve. 

“Dinner?” Zorian asked, frowning. They were currently in Zorian’s room, studying something Zach hadn’t bothered to pay much attention to. Zorian was looking at him suspiciously. “Why do I feel there’s another motive to it more than just a friendly outing?”

“Gods, you really are dense sometimes,” Zach told him, chuckling. “I’m asking you out on a date, Zorian.” 

“A wh- A date?” he asked, stunned. He seemed to consider it for a moment, before he shook his head and glared at Zach, going back to his notebook as he sighed. “That prank was of very poor taste, Zach.”

“I’m serious,” he told him. “Go out with me. Just once. It’s not a prank, Zorian.” 

“I- I have to think about it. Give me a few weeks.” Zorian gave up on paying attention to his notes, closing his book and standing up. “Could you leave me alone for a while?”

Zach made a face. “Are you kicking me out of your room?”

“Yes, essentially,” Zorian said hurriedly. “You going or not?”

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving.” Zach stood up, putting his hands up in a placating manner. He sighed internally. Where had he gone wrong? Had he been too direct? He’d have to be more patient in his next try. He could always just take advantage of the time loop and try to steal a few kisses anyway but... That would probably be kind of rude. 

Zach walked over to the door which Zorian was holding open for him. He stayed in place for a moment, before looking at Zorian, trying to look as apologizing as possible. 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t what I was trying to do. We are still friends, right?” Zorian’s face heated up a little, and he avoided Zach’s eyes. 

“You didn’t- You didn’t make me uncomfortable. And sure, we can still talk, I guess.” The other boy quickly closed the door behind Zach, leaving him outside. 

Well, that hadn’t gone as bad as it could have. Usually, Zach never even got to actually ask him out before Zorian became annoyed with him and either yelled at him that he was just like his brothers (Which Zach considered to be quite offending, thank you very much) or to outright leave him alone. Must be the acting smart thing- Maybe Zorian digged that? 

He’d have to explore it more in the future.


	2. 2

The second time Zach tried to pursue Zorian again, they were in the library. The place seemed to do wonders for Zorian’s opinion of Zach, so really, it was a small price to pay for the other boy’s attention. It wasn’t like Zach had an actual crush on Zorian he was just… interested, a little bit, and bored, a lot. Zorian was still one of the people on the time loop he could consider unpredictable sometimes. And if he managed to get the other boy to notice him romantically, he was sure he’d be even more unpredictable. That was all. 

“How did you even learn all of this? I wouldn’t be able to do that even if I spent the whole break locked up in here.” Zorian frowned, looking over Zach’s notes. He was looking over Zach’s shoulder, definitively inside his personal space, but Zorian didn’t seem to notice this, as engaged in Zach’s seemingly incomprehensive jottings as he was. “It’s like you’re a whole other person. Not like I knew you that well before the break, but you just… Uh…” He looked up at Zach, suddenly sheepish. 

“Never seemed the smart type?” Zach guessed.

“I guess.” Zorian at least had the decency to look mildly embarrassed about the slip. “I mean, I don’t think I remember you being this proficient at- well, everything. I would have noticed if you were. I think.” 

Zach chuckled. “I wasn’t. But you know, being the sole member of a noble house does get you a couple of interesting mentors, if you play your cards right. That’s probably the difference you’re seeing.” Zach had learned not to tell Zorian about the time loop. The other boy tended to think Zach was playing a prank on him, and would become offended and stop talking to him altogether. 

“You must still be very talented,” Zorian told him, with just the tiniest bit of jealousy in his words. 

“I guess,” Zach replied, vaguely. It was more effort, persistence, and time that got him where he was, but trying to explain it without the time loop would just give him a headache. 

Zach suddenly noticed that his classmate had completely abandoned his own notes in favour of talking to him. That didn’t usually happen. Zorian was mostly only half-interested in what Zach had to say, at the best of times. He didn’t normally dedicate him so much attention unless it was to reprimand him for being too loud. 

He had to do something about it.

“I’m kind of tired of studying. What if we call it a day?” Zach said, carefully. He could still try to ask Zorian on a date on their way back, but he sort of doubted he’d get an affirmative. It’d probably just be a repeat of the last time he tried that. “It’s late. I’ll walk you back to your room,” he said, instead. 

Zorian scowled. “I’m not a girl, I don’t need you to escort me, Zach,” he protested.

“Sure, if you say so.” Maybe he could do something more subtle? What even was subtle? Holding his hand? No, that was too much for either of them…

They walked back to the bookshelves where they’d picked their books, and started placing them where they’d found them. Zach had just finished cramming his last book into a shelf when he turned around and saw Zorian struggling to reach a higher shelf. 

Zach walked behind the other boy and took the book from his hands, easily reaching the shelf and placing it beside the others of its genre. Zorian startled as he took the book, and turned around to face him. As Zach let go of the book, he looked at Zorian and noticed they were close enough for him to feel Zorian’s breath on his chin. 

If Zach was being totally honest, he might admit he had freaked out a little. As much as he’d fooled around with boys, this particular situation with this particular boy had never happened. Being in the time loop made unexpected events like this much more stunning, and it took him a moment to respond. The fact that he felt his stomach do a flip wasn’t something that usually happened, either.

Zach placed a hand on a shelf beside Zorian’s right shoulder, and brought the other boy’s chin up with the other. Zorian swallowed. He was sweating a little, and his eyes were wide open, but every now and then he sneaked a look down towards Zach’s lips. Zach could also appreciate the red tone Zorian’s face was taking. 

Zach leaned closer to him, beginning to close his eyes. From between his eyelashes he could see Zorian doing the same, but just as he was about to kiss Zorian, the other boy startled as if waking up from a dream, and pushed him away.

“Wait. I- I’m not- I don’t like- This is- I can’t-” He took a deep breath, his trembling hands still keeping Zach at arm's length, as if he thought if he let go Zach would pounce on him immediately. Zach guessed he might have seemed a bit imposing, but he wasn’t really dangerous. If Zorian really wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t do anything. He was just the tiniest bit offended at the implication Zorian thought otherwise. “I’m going to go now. Bye.” Zorian told him, before quickly picking up his schoolbag and running away. 

Zach stared as the other boy left. Zorian probably wouldn’t talk to him again in this restart.

Another failure, then.


	3. 3

The third time’s the charm, some might say. Well, it was with this mentality that Zach approached Zorian again. Once more, he spent time with the boy at the library to solidify their tentative friendship. This time, when Zorian was trying to reach for the shelf, Zach just placed it for him and backed off as quickly as possible. 

What he did manage this time, was to convince Zorian of letting him accompany him to his room. However, ever since he’d placed the book and then stepped back as if Zorian had the Weeping, the other boy had been silent. 

“Are you mad at me?” he finally asked Zach. 

“What do you mean? Why would I be mad at you?” Zach asked him instead, confused. 

“You’ve been sort of distant for a while, to be honest. And it’s not just today, I’ve been noticing for the last few days that you seem kind of... Withdrawn. But it’s specially today. Do I smell bad or something?” He looked at Zach, completely clueless. 

Zach couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, no- You smell fine, Zorian. I just, uh…” he trailed off. What was he supposed to answer him? He supposed he might not seem as enthusiastic as he usually did, but that had more to do with the repetitiveness of the time loop than Zorian himself, and he couldn’t exactly explain the time loop to Zorian. He had yet to find a way to tell him and receive a positive reaction.

“You just what?” Zorian stopped walking and stood in front of Zach, looking at him decisively. “You suddenly start talking to me all the time but ever since we went to the library you’ve been… Not quiet, but, reserved? What aren’t you telling me?” 

Oh, boy, was that a hard question to answer. Should he tell Zorian about the time loop? Probably not. If he thought Zach was pranking him when he was obviously distressed then their interactions would be ruined for the rest of the restart. Then what about...

Zach looked Zorian in the eyes, determined. “I like you, Zorian,” he confessed. It wasn’t exactly, 100%, totally, completely true. Zach definitely didn’t like Zorian much. Just a little bit. Maybe. Like when he complained about his brothers and Zach took his side and Zorian laughed with him. Or when he pouted about how all they were doing in classes were reviews of last year and Zach offered to teach him advanced stuff instead, and Zorian just absolutely lit up and became so much more determined. Zach couldn’t really understand how the other boy enjoyed learning so much, but he found himself being happy whenever he could improve Zorian’s mood. Overall, the guy was just fun to be around sometimes. 

That didn’t matter, anyway, and Zach didn't really have to think about it yet. As long as he was still trapped in the time loop it didn’t matter who he liked or not, because there was really nothing he could do about it that would actually stick. What was important about this was Zorian’s reaction, and that alone, Zach’s feelings or lack thereof notwithstanding. And Zorian was not a bad candidate at all. Just a bit too grumpy for Zach’s liking, although he made up for it in cuteness, but this wasn’t the moment to think about that.

Zorian immediately became flushed. He stammered a bit before being able to answer, and even then he was partly avoiding Zach’s gaze. “You like me?” he asked, pointlessly. “Why?” 

Zach was so stunned by the reply he almost burst out laughing right then and there. “Why? You’re smart, and kind, and a pretty great guy all around, not to mention good-looking.” These were all reasons that Zach might like him for. In another timeline, maybe. Just- Just stop thinking about it too much. This is not the moment for a crisis, Zach, get your act together. In any case, he didn’t think Zorian would be offended if he complimented him the right amount. It was usually hard to be mad when the person in question was talking about how awesome you are. “You don’t… nevermind. What- uh, what about you?” Smooth. He’d done this tons of times before, why was he being so awkward now? Stop it. Be cool. He took a deep breath. 

“I’ve never thought about... You… like that, to be honest. I need- I need time. A few days, or weeks, maybe? I’ll give you an answer then.” Zorian stared at the floor, frowning slightly, but Zach could see how his ears were coloured a deep shade of red. Hm. This one was most likely a win, just not within the time limit.

Zach sighed. “There’s no way I can convince you to give me an answer before the weekend, is there?” The invasion would be at the end of that week, after all. Everything he did was pointless if he didn’t have the chance to see the results. 

“Oh- the ball- I’m, I’m not really planning on going anyway, sorry. Even if, you know. I really don’t like crowded places like that. It gives me headaches. It’s a medical condition.” Of course Zorian would think he was asking him to the ball. Maybe he should try that next time.

“I’m sure,” Zach deadpanned. Medical condition? That was one excuse he didn’t hear often. “Just, don’t stay in your room either. Maybe you can go to the library that night instead? I don’t think anyone will be there.” 

Zorian looked at him dubiously. “Maybe.” 

He dropped the other boy at his room, and went back to his own. Zorian didn’t avoid him as much as he usually did after Zach tried to make a move on him, so he decided to consider this a success, in some way. He never gave him an answer before the ball, though, but he’d checked and Zorian had, in fact, gone to the library instead of staying in his room. He’d done it in a sneakingly way, too. It was priceless to watch him crouch down behind corners whenever he encountered Ilsa or other teachers. If Zach ever got out of the time loop, he had to make sure to bring a camera for this. It’d be perfect blackmail material.


	4. 4

He was going to do it. He’d ask Zorian to the ball, maybe just as friends, and he’d get an answer. Today. Now. He just… had to ask him. He could do this. He’d done way crazier things than this. He was totally capable of asking Zorian to the ball.

So why wasn’t he?

His fourth try to start something with Zorian and he couldn’t even gather the courage to do it. 

“Everything alright? You look frustrated,” Zorian said, amused. “I thought these books were, uh ‘easy peasy’, wasn’t what you said?”

They were in the library, again, and honestly Zach was getting tired of this place real quick. Library dates were never really his thing, and these couldn’t even be called dates with the amount of time Zorian spent actually studying and ignoring him completely. He kind of felt like pouting.

“They are.” Zach glared at him. “I don’t have any problems with the books.” 

“Then what’s wrong? You’ve been grumpy ever since we got here. Do you really dislike the library this much?” 

“Yeah, I hate this place. It’s so… boring. Nothing ever happens.” Zach dropped his head into his arms, hiding his face. He didn’t even know why he was putting so much effort into this. Zorian would probably never be interested, no matter what he did. Maybe if he had more than a month to convince him, but as things were...

“Well, what do you expect to happen? It’s a library.” Zach turned his head to look at the other boy. Zorian always had this sort of stoic face, as if he were unimpressed with everything, but every now and then… There was this cocky look he got, where he’d smirk and get all mischievous. It was cute. Zorian was pretty cute. 

“Then let’s get out of here.”

“To do what?” Zorian asked, putting his book down. Good, he understood Zach wouldn’t be settling for just a study session. 

“Fool around,” Zach replied, still staring at him. “Do something fun.”

Zorian sighed. “And here I’d hoped you'd had a change of heart somehow become more interested in academic learning, but you’re just the same impulsive guy you’ve always been, aren’t you?”

Zach grinned. “That’s right,” he said, “So now you can either put up with me whining and complaining for the rest of the afternoon or we can go somewhere actually fun.”

Zorian finally put down his book, groaning. “Fine, but just today. Next time we come here, we’re actually studying the whole time.” 

“Deal!” Zach agreed, knowing the restart had little more than a week left. Besides, he was still planning to go on with his plan of asking Zorian to the ball, and if the boy reacted badly, at least he wouldn’t have to sit through another ‘study session’ again. 

They left the library, and on their way out, Zach somehow achieved to convince Zorian of getting dinner together. He hadn’t exactly phrased it as a date, more like ‘It’s late, we’re both hungry, let’s grab something to eat, yeah?’, but still. It counted. 

Although Zach suggested multiple fancy restaurants that would have been very date-like, Zorian insisted he couldn’t spend that much money and that they should go somewhere cheaper. When Zach suggested paying for both of them, Zorian refused immediately, which was good because Zach didn’t have that much money anyway. They ended up setting for a cheap family restaurant where they just ordered a load of hamburgers and little else.

“So what’s it like having Xvim as your mentor?” Zach asked, knowing the other boy loved to complain about that particular teacher. It worked, Zorian immediately started spurting all kinds of complaints about Xvim, barely even stopping to catch his breath. 

“He throws marbles at me! What kind of teacher even does that? How is he allowed to keep teaching? Aren’t there rules against this kind of thing?” 

“I don’t know, but maybe you could get another teacher to be your tutor instead? Ilsa or someone like that?”

“They’re all full. Ilsa told me she’ll tell me if a vacancy opens up, but so far it seems I’m stuck with Xvim.” The other boy sighed. Zach patted his back in sympathy. 

“Talking about Ilsa, how’s the ‘teaching people how to dance’ thing going?” Zach casually asked as he tried to gently nudge their conversation into somewhere ball-related. 

“Not so bad, actually. Most of them already have the hang of it, more or less. I hate the spell, but there should only be a few more sessions of that before I’m free of my obligations.”

“Yeah, you only have to do that until the dance, right? Say, who are you going with?” Smooth, Zach. 

“No one, really,” Zorian told him, eyeing him suspiciously. “I’ll be going alone.”

Zach knew the other boy was just looking at him that way because he thought Zach might cause trouble if he found out Zorian wasn’t planning to attend the event, but he couldn’t help feeling nervous considering his next question. 

“I’m not taking anyone either. What if we go together?” Good. He didn’t say ‘date’, or anything romantic, either. Sure, he was positive his face was more colourful than it had been moments before, but technically the question could still pass as friendly. It was only when he was direct that Zorian got upset, after all. 

“Why? I’m sure you can easily get a girl to go with you if you ask one. There’s a large group that’s interested in you, you know. I’m fairly sure they’d drop everything else if you asked any of them out.” Zorian continued calmly eating, seemingly not having noticed the intention behind Zach’s question. 

“I’m not really interested in any of them, though.” How should he say this? Not too direct, but not so indirect that Zorian wouldn’t get it… Damn, this was hard. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Zorian sighed. “To be honest, I don’t actually want to go. You should look for someone else, if you really want to go with someone.” Just how dense could one guy be? 

“I’m asking you, Zorian.” Screw dancing around the subject. It obviously wasn’t working. “Would you be my date for the dance?” 

Zorian stopped. He stared at the hamburger on his hand for a second before turning to Zach painfully slow. “Your date?” Zach felt like he was in a horror novel. 

“Yeah, my date.” He couldn’t do this. Zach was half-tempted to make a run for it and leave the restaurant altogether, but he couldn’t let Zorian pay for his meal. Did the guy even have enough money? It’d be a shitty thing to do. He settled for avoiding Zorian’s gaze and inching a little towards the door. 

“Romantically?”

“I guess so, yes. “ Oh, he was going to be so mad. Zach should’ve thought this through. This was never going to work. As always, Zach had the worst ideas. 

“I- Um, I’m flattered, but…” Zorian trailed off, putting down his food and looking away from Zach. The ear that was facing him was bright red. “As I said, I don’t want to go. Sorry. It’s not you, it’s just I… Well, I’m... “ 

“You’re not interested,” Zach answered for him, disappointed. He really had no chance at all, did he? Oh well. You couldn’t get them all. “It’s fine.” 

“Sorry,” Zorian repeated. 

They finished eating, avoiding looking at each other for the rest of the night, and went their separate ways. 

Zach didn’t talk to Zorian for the rest of the restart. It seemed pointless, really. He was still interested in trying to get him to survive the invasion night, though. Maybe he could figure out a way to do that without interacting much with him? Move a few strings in the background kind of thing? 

He’d have to try that later.


	5. +1

Zach didn’t try to make a move on Zorian for a good few years after that. Mainly because during his attempts to figure out a way for Zorian to not die at the beginning of the invasion, Zorian became a time looper just like him and it’d be a lot more awkward if he rejected him now. 

There was also the fact that before Zorian became a time looper, Zach’s feelings for him weren’t that deep. It was just more of a general interest, like a hard task or quest he wanted to accomplish, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he failed. Now, though, after spending a couple of years with the guy, and becoming close to him… Being rejected sounded more and more undesirable every day. He wasn’t sure he could handle it.

And finally, after seeing Zorian run away from him countless times, Zach had come to the conclusion that maybe Zorian just wasn’t Like Him, and would never be. It wasn’t a matter of figuring out the right way to charm him, it just wasn't even a possibility right from the start. 

And he couldn’t really treat it like a game now, either. He wasn’t interested in trying something with Zorian just ‘for fun’, anymore. It was different, now. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in Zorian, though. Zach looked at the other boy as he mused about this. They had entered the Black Room a few days ago, maybe even a week ago, and Zorian was using most of his time to read about golem-making. That was one of the few things that hadn’t changed, Zorian still loved to use all of his time studying and learning instead of having fun. It had become Zach’s job to make sure they had fun every now and then, and the Black Room was making his task just a tiny bit difficult. Eventually his thoughts turned to different meaning of ‘fun’, and well. Being locked up for long periods of time with the guy he liked, it was only natural he’d end up in that sort of awkward situation. 

Zorian looked at him, amused, “If you’re bored we can play cards or something. It’s good to take some time off to relax, anyway.” He closed his book.

Zorian had changed a lot from how he was at the start of the time loop. Zach was still confused sometimes when he didn’t react to things like how he used to. That was another thing the time loop had done to him; it made him think that everyone would always stay how they were. He hadn't seen someone change radically in decades, after all. 

If he was being honest, Zach would say that he sort of wished he could go back to the time when Zorian wasn’t aware of the time loop and he could keep investigating different ways to make Zorian fall for him, but at the same time it wouldn’t be the same Zorian he was now. This Zorian was happier, calmer, more mature and patient. He liked to act as if he was a boring know-it-all, but he knew how to have fun and they could joke and play pranks on each other. 

He understood Zach. They were friends. And Zach… liked him. For real. 

If he could try something now, without being scared of not having another chance in case Zorian rejected him, what would he do? Would he try to kiss him, like that time between the bookshelves? Would he try to date him, and go slow enough for Zorian? It was useless to think about that. Zorian wasn’t interested. He didn’t like Zach that way, and he probably never would. His previous actions proved that much. It was better that the present Zorian didn’t know anything about his feelings.

Zach didn’t realize he was still staring at Zorian, not answering him, until the book he’d been levitating as a shaping exercise fell on top of his head as he got more and more distracted. Zorian chuckled and grabbed the book, brushing Zach’s arm, and set it aside. 

“Earth to Zach, is anyone listening? You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“Sorry, I just…” he trailed off. He felt dumb and hopeless, and he was sure Zorian was aware of it. In Zach’s opinion, it was quite stupid, but Zorian-like, that the other boy somehow hadn’t realized the massive crush Zach had on him although he could tell exactly what he was feeling most of the time. 

Zorian smiled at him pitifully. Zach had no idea how the other boy was justifying his feelings in his head, but he hated how pathetic he must have looked to him. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?” Zach felt that the Gods would have laughed at him, if they could have seen them. 

“No,” Zach deadpanned. He knew Zorian probably had no idea what was going on in his head, and Zach couldn’t really blame him for anything, but it was still a jerky move on life’s part to put him on this kind of situation. 

“Alright, grumpy boy. Keep your secrets.” Zorian backed off. “You up for cards, though? I’m kind of tired of golems right now.” 

Zach feigned considering it before agreeing and setting their stuff aside for the game. 

He wasn’t able to distract himself from his previous musings, though. All he could think about during their game was how cute Zorian looked with his tongue out, trying hard to decipher the best strategy although Zach always lost anyway. He would have lost even if Zorian was playing with Kirielle, choosing the worst options in every play. 

Having Zorian entertained with something else was extremely bad in the sense that Zach was even less afraid than usual to stare unabashedly at him. Zorian never cared, anyway. He never noticed anything, even when Zach was being as obvious as possible. The guy was as dense as could be. 

He gave a hopeless sigh, and played the card on his left. Zorian smiled in triumph as he put down a card that made him win the round. Zach couldn’t help smiling as well at the way the other boy shone with innocent joy. He often reminded Zach of a small kitten, and it made him want to snog Zorian. 

Zorian liked to act mature in public, but he was actually a huge softie, in Zach’s honest opinion. He was like a little kid, sometimes. It was incredibly cute. He was just so… Soft, small, pure and adorable. He was so fucking wholesome sometimes and it made Zach’s heart do flips.

“Are you feeling better, now?” Zorian asked him, a small smile still on his face as he organized the cards for another round, “You seem happy.” 

“I guess,” Zach answered. He was happy, indeed. It was true he was still bitter about not even having a chance with Zorian, but they could still be friends, so long as Zach didn’t ruin it. 

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it? I won’t judge you. Even if it’s something weird.” Zorian looked at him, serious. 

Zach scoffed, “You don’t really mean that.”

He frowned. “What are you trying to say with that?”

Zach groaned internally. How much should he say? He guessed the best answer was nothing but it was kind of too late. “I’ve already told you before. Before you entered the time loop, I mean. You never reacted well. I don’t think you will, now.” It probably wasn’t good that Zorian was his only real friend. He was the only person Zach could tell stuff to, even when he really, really shouldn’t. 

Zorian looked surprised. “Why not?”

“Well, because…” Zach struggled to find the words for what he wanted to say. “You just won’t. Trust me.” 

Zorian left the stack of cards on the table, and turned to him. “I’ve changed a lot, you know. Whatever it is, I’m sure I can handle it.” He leaned towards Zach. 

“You’ve never reacted well,” Zach repeated, fumbling with his hands. How had he even got into this situation? Zorian was too close. “Not one single time.”

“How about this, then?” Zorian sighed. “You tell me, and if I react badly, then I’ll just erase my own memory of it and it’ll be as if nothing ever happened.”

“You’d do that?” Zach said, surprised. 

“Sure. If it isn’t anything critically important, I don’t see why I’d mind forgetting about it, and this way you could vent about whatever problem it is you have, at least for a little while.”

Zach stared at him. What Zorian was proposing was basically like having another chance like he’d had before Zorian entered the time loop, only that with this Zorian. This Zorian, who was infinitely better... 

“You’re saying I can do whatever I want, and you promise to forget about it if you don’t like it?” Zach swallowed, feeling his face get warmer. 

“That’s what I said, yeah.” Zorian was looking expectantly at him, as if wondering why he hadn’t started to talk yet. 

Zach could tell Zorian how he felt, and risk getting rejected again, although not permanently, or he could… Or he could actually try to get something out of it. 

As quickly as he finished that thought, he leaned over the small table between him and Zorian, climbing over it and knocking over books and cards towards the floor in the process, and grabbed the other boy’s face before smashing their lips together. 

Zorian let out a surprised yelp and fell over, Zach’s weight pushing him down. 

Zach felt like he was eating his first meal after starving for years. Zorian tasted like dark honey, and Zach couldn’t get enough of it. He felt the need to breathe and pushed it away as much as he could. He didn’t know if he’d ever get another chance to do this, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to end it early. He might end the restart by dying of asphyxiation and he didn’t even care.

Zorian had his hands on Zach’s shoulders, gripping his shirt tightly. Zach knew it was probably mean of him to kiss Zorian without even caring to ask for permission, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been wanting this for more than a decade, and he didn’t think he could have taken ‘no’ for an answer. 

“Zach.” The desperate tone of Zorian’s voice startled him enough to pull apart briefly. The other boy hadn’t put up any resistance during the kiss, but he also hadn’t done anything that Zach could interpret as him enjoying it. 

Against his will, Zach separated himself from Zorian. He couldn’t help gulping as he saw the state he’d left the other boy in. Zorian was splayed against the floor beneath him, his face deeply flushed and his lips swollen. He looked intently at Zach as he caught his breath, and Zach wished he had Zorian’s empathy to know what the other boy was thinking. 

“Well,” He took a deep breath. “I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Sorry,” Zach hurried to say, wincing. “I should’ve said something first.” 

“No, no. It’s okay.” Zorian took another breath. He was facing the ceiling now, and he hadn’t made any effort to get up from the floor yet, so he was just laying there, as if he were on the beach, as if Zach hadn’t just literally jumped on him and kissed him fiercely out of nowhere. “I liked it,” He mused, nodding to himself. 

“You- You liked it?” Zach repeated, dumbfounded. 

“Yeah.” Zorian turned to look at him. “Actually, do it again.”

“I- What?” Zach said, breathlessly. 

Zorian sat up, and now Zach was technically sitting on his lap instead. Zach was so puzzled that he barely even noticed this change, too focused as he was in Zorian’s hands on the sides of his head. This time, Zorian took his time bringing their mouths together, unlike Zach who’d just slammed their faces together, uncaring of their teeth colliding. 

This kiss was sweet and slow, as if Zorian wanted to savour it. Zorian was exasperatingly inexperienced, but Zach found he didn’t mind it much. He supposed their previous kiss had been Zorian’s first. The other boy used the opportunity to slowly explore and try things as he went. Zach let him take the lead, answering his movements but not starting anything on his own. He wasn’t sure if he was doing that because he still felt guilty for not asking for consent earlier or if he was just too stunned by Zorian’s reaction. 

“That was nice,” Zorian muttered as they pulled apart, licking his lips.

“Mhm,” Zach agreed, not trusting himself to speak. He felt like half of his brain had just melted. 

“Was that all that was worrying you?” Zorian asked, raising one of his eyebrows. Zach felt a bit offended. 

“In my defence, you rejected me millions of times before you got into the time loop.” Zach tried to glare at him. “It was kind of depressing.” 

“Really?” Zorian frowned. “I mean, I guess I wouldn’t have been easy to work with since I wasn’t even sure of my sexuality at that time, but I rejected you?” 

“Yeah. One time you literally run away from me when I tried to kiss you. And another restart you kicked me out of your room and never talked to me again. And the best outcome I had was when you said you’d think about it but I never actually got to hear your answer because the time loop had finished before you could give me one,” Zach whined, resting his head on Zorian’s shoulder. 

Zorian wrapped him in his arms, comfortingly. It must have looked a bit ridiculous since Zach had a much bigger build than Zorian, but neither of them were uncomfortable with their position. 

“Just curious. Did you ever kiss me before?” Zorian asked. 

“Never got to. I tried, sure, but you always pushed me away. I didn’t want to force you, either.” 

“But you still didn’t exactly give me a choice just now," Zorian teased him. 

“I already said I was sorry about that! I acted on impulse.”

Zorian laughed at him. “And anyway, why did you even try anything with me, back then? Did you have a crush on me?”

Zach groaned and buried his face in Zorian’s shirt, filled to the brim with shame. “You weren’t the only one I tried stuff with. I wanted to try new things, explore new horizons, you know. I… did like you, a little bit. But it’s different now. Back then I mostly did it out of curiosity, but now…” He paused, trying to find the words. 

“Now you have a crush on me.” Zorian had that grin on his face, the one that went from ear to ear and meant that he was just barely holding his laughter back.

Zach spluttered, lifting his head and looking at the other boy’s eyes. “Well, yes, but no! And- And you kissed me, too, so don’t act like you don’t like me, either.”

Now it was Zorian’s turn to be embarrassed. “I guess I’ve always thought you were kind of attractive. I was somewhat jealous of you before the time loop because of that, though. I only recently realized that I, uh, had feelings for you. “

“Oh, you have ‘feelings’ for me?” Zach teased him, smirking. 

“Shut up, Zach,” Zorian said as he crossed his arms over his chest, his face a faint shade of red. 

Zach chuckled. “Don’t worry. I have ‘feelings’ for you too.” Zach could still barely believe Zorian hadn’t gotten angry at him yet. He’d been so sure that he’d get rejected, he hadn’t really considered the possibility that things might turn out okay. What were they supposed to do about this? Did this mean they were boyfriends? Zach had never actually dated anyone for more than a few weeks. He had no idea how relationships worked. 

“I have a feeling Imaya’s going to be a huge pain in the ass when she finds out about this,” Zorian sighed, interrupting Zach’s train of thought.

“Yeah, probably,” he mused. “I’d be more concerned about your siblings, though.” 

“Oh, no,” he said, gasping dramatically. “Kirielle. And Daimen. Daimen will never stop teasing me. We cannot let him know.”

“He’ll find out one way or another,” Zach laughed. “Don’t you have another brother though?”

Zorian waved him off, “I barely even interact with Fortov anymore, chances are, if we don’t make a ruckus about it, he’ll never know.”

Zach sighed and rested his head against Zorian’s shoulder again. Their limbs were tangled with one another, and they were stuck in a small room with no one else to notice them, with as much time as they wanted. They didn’t really have to worry about what others would think. Even when they left the Black Room, they could stay quiet about it or figure out a way to tell people without causing a scene. They had all the time in the world.

In the meantime, Zach was dying to kiss Zorian again. The other boy had closed his eyes as Zach got lost in thought, and if Zach didn’t know better, he’d say Zorian was asleep. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He positioned himself in front of Zorian, their faces only a couple of centimeters away from each other. 

“Oh, now you ask?” Zorian answered him, amused, and still not opening his eyes. 

“Can I?” Zach tried again. 

Zorian smiled. “Yeah.”


End file.
